The aftermath of a robbery, ear infection and amoxicilan allergy

Sleeping in your house the night its been broken into is not something I would recommend. Every little noise made me stop breathing and I was certain the evil ones were lurking outside of Aubrey’s window, waiting for me to fall asleep and snatch away one of my most precious possessions. I think I got about 3 hours of sleep that night- after I inhaled the remainder of my Tylenol PM- but I was READY to go to work the next day, for the sole purpose of NOT being in that house. After all, it got robbed in the middle of the day so why would I want to hang around for round 2?
After dropping Aubrey off at daycare and telling the babysitter that hey, you might want to lock the door to your garage, I went to work and promptly began my research on home security systems. I found one, called, got a good deal, referred my sister-in-law and got an even better deal, and still could not breathe easy. I had a panic attack that night and Good Lord, I hate those. I haven’t had one of those since the pressures of college and of boyfriends had during said college years. I have always been one to get scared, to watch the news too much and assume that every rapist and murderer has me next on their list. So you can imagine how my irrationality increased after this incident.
But yesterday, the nice man from the security company came to my house for 6 hours and drilled holes in my ceiling from the attic and wired the doors and every window and a bunch of other stuff that was totally worth dipping into Aubrey’s college fund. I now have little red lights that let me know every time I enter a room, and chimes and such to let me know that hey, I opened the door. And then, hey, I just shut the door. I am so eco-friendly. Last night, I slept like a baby.
They might have taken some of Ryan’s hunting stuff, but they didn’t get it all so just be aware, if you try to scare me by creeping around my house, or toilet paper my house or shaving cream my car, I have weapons and I know how to use them and I am one paranoid, irrational homeowner… so consider yourself and your toes warned.
I know that I am supposed to have faith in the Lord, the He no doubt DID protect Aubrey and I the day of the robbery by us not going home right away. I know that it was only “stuff” that was stolen, and I could really care less about that. I wish that I could say that I place all hope in the Lord, that I could lay down at night and fall fast asleep. I wish that I could let the dog out to pee every morning without fearing that a man is standing there with a gun. I know that as a Christian, fear should have no place in my life. But you know what, I’m human, a flawed one at that, so yeah, I’m scared and having a little keypad that calls the police in 2.5 seconds DOES make me feel safer. I was talking to a lady at work about it today and she told me to read Psalms 91 tonight before I go to bed. We’ll see if that helps. Anyways, I’d love your thoughts on this. How does one know in their head that God will protect them (and if He doesn’t, its in His perfect will and there are better things awaiting us) but fight that natural, perhaps evolutionary urge of survival?

On a lighter note, sort of, Aubrey got another ear infection last week. Just like last time, the hot cougar soccer mom doctor (Ryan LOVES taking Aubrey to the doctor:) ) prescribed amoxicilan, which Aubrey has been taking for 8 days. Well, yesterday I get a call from Aubrey’s babysitter sounding a bit, well, panicked. “Um, just wondering if you noticed that Aubrey is covered in red spots.” Um, no I did not, otherwise I WOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN HER TO DAYCARE, WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME A FOR A HEARTLESS FOOL? So I commence the freaking out, calling the doctor because oh-my-god my 10 month old has the chicken pox, how did she get the chicken pox, I can’t miss 8 days of work and she can’t go to daycare with the chicken pox… you get the point. The nurse assured me that without a fever, it was not chicken pox (even though my mother swears that my sister never had a fever with HER chicken pox, cue freaking out). Ryan went and got her early, just in case.
Don’t you hate it when your kid doesn’t feel good and there is really nothing you can do about it except sit in the floor and scratch your eyes and cry with them? And then they look at you like woman, you are not covered in red welps and don’t truly know my misery so why don’t you just quit being a baby? I gave her a bath, patted myself on the back for remembering to give her the medicine for her ears, fed her and put her down.

I wish I knew how to insert pictures here because this morning when I woke her up, Miss Aubrey looked as though she had been in a fight. Her little eyes were swollen and the red welps had multiplied overnight. I felt so bad for her but she was in a fabulous mood. My mother-in-law was coming to take her to the doctor so I didn’t have to worry about the looks I would get from other mothers at daycare, like ahem, why did you bring your leper to daycare where it can infect my child with that disease?

Long story short (and by now its like, whats the point?), my excellent parenting skills in which I administer prescribed medicine to my child twice a day like the doctor said were actually harming her. She is allergic.to.amoxicilan.

Say whaaaaat?

Yes. What kid is allergic to amoxicilan? I have a special relationship with amoxicilan because it got me through those 6 years of living in smog infested cities, smog infested so badly that if you went out for a jog and blew your nose, your snot would be black. Seriously. I had tonsilitis EVERY SINGLE MONTH of my junior year that we lived in Santiago before my parents (God love ‘em) FINALLY decided to let me get my tonsils out. On my birthday. Thanks mom.

So you can imagine my shock at the allergy, and feel my relief that my child was not infested with a flesh-eating disease or, worse, the chicken pox.

That is a battle better fought in first grade, when you know how to scratch and whine and get your mom to give you lots and lots of ice cream. I’ll be sure to blog about it when it happens.

Published in: on April 29, 2008 at 9:49 pm Leave a Comment
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Well, thanks Nazi trainer. You kept me from getting attacked.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my trainer at the gym right after work, but I got a really bad headache before I left. I had planned on going straight home and rescheduling, but Ryan said I should go, that it might help my headache to work out, so I went. She was really tough on me! My arms are really sore today. Anyways, I am glad I did, because when I got home I saw that the door leading to the garage from the house was wide open and my dog Stella was standing in the middle of the garage.

 

 

Exasperated, I pulled in and figured that Ryan might not have shut it hard enough and the wind might have blown it open. I walked into the house and saw that the back door leading to the back yard was open, and then I got REALLY irritated with him! I proceeded to shut and lock the doors, get Aubrey out of her carseat and play with her in the living room when I noticed that the lights in our bedroom were on. You all know that I am BIG on “If you aren’t USING them, turn the lights off!” and it actually goes beyond going green, it’s a moral conviction for me. So you can imagine how much more irritated I became when I assumed my husband had left all the lights on this morning. He got home and I proceeded to reprimand him for leaving the doors open and the lights on and he was very confused, knowing that he has made an extra effort to conserve energy.

 

I decided to go take a shower and that’s when I noticed that my closet had been completely ripped apart. I asked Ryan if he had been looking for anything and he said no, and came back and that’s when he noticed that his closet had been ripped apart and that his gun safe had been tampered with. He had 3 guns stolen. Those were the only things missing. I had several things that would have been annoying to lose, but no other rooms had been tampered with.

So, naturally, we started freaking out a little bit. I called the police but apparently yesterday the warm weather made everyone want to beat their wives and shoot each other because the cops had a lot of calls and he did not arrive until 9 pm. In the meantime we didn’t touch anything and talked to the neighbors, one of which said he had been home since 2 working on his garden and didn’t see anything weird. He also said his truck had been broken into several times, and instead of taking money or a credit card that was in there, they took a clipboard and tools. He thinks it’s a bunch of teenagers that live down the street. Which, if that’s the case, I am wondering what kind of teen would go straight for the guns and not the computer or ipod, so please pray that they will not use them for violence. But the other option is that we had someone work on our garage door about a month ago, someone who would know how to get into the garage, when we aren’t home, and had tools. If a regular truck had pulled up, opened the garage with a remote, the neighbor wouldn’t have thought anything of it. We’re looking into it.

 

The cop dusted for prints and examined the doors. No prints, no sign of forced entry. He informed us that if you go up and down your street and push your own garage door opener, it will inevitably open other people’s garage doors. I never lock the door from the house to the garage bc I normally have the carseat and a diaper bag. They probably got in that way, and when they heard me get home, they ran out the back door and that’s why that one was open. I am SO GLAD I went to the gym after work. So, if you don’t lock that door in your own home, it might be wise to start. I know I did this morning AND we are getting the locks changed.

 

I am very grateful that we don’t have to deal with identity theft- that would be a nightmare. But it disturbs me that these people apparently knew Ryan had guns and went specifically for them. Either they got lucky, going straight to the master bedroom or they did it on purpose. I know not everyone agrees with hunting for sport, but I always felt a little more secure in my home, knowing that if someone did break in while we were home, Ryan could protect us. Now the very things meant to protect are gone, and hopefully only for profit and not violence. Hunting to Ryan is so much more than killing and animal and using it for food- it represents his introduction to, love and respect for nature and wildlife, as well as wonderful bonding moments with his father, grandfather and friends.

 

Needless to say, we are changing the locks today and getting a security system with cameras this weekend. Please pray that I can stop being scared to go to my own home soon! And that they get caught. If they sell them to a pawn shop anywhere in America, it will show up on a system and its pretty likely that any justice remaining in this situation will be had. Its just that, they took more than stuff, you know? They took my sense of a safe home away.

 

(Oh, and I apologized profusely to Ryan for yelling at him about the lights :) )

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published in: on April 25, 2008 at 11:20 am Leave a Comment
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Its working out…

So today I realized that this whole working out thing is not as horrible as I expected it to be. By no means am I ever looking forward to going to the gym, but I finally have some elevated energy. That was my main goal, to have more energy. Lately I have just been exhausted when I get home from work, and I didn’t like that.

I thought I was busy before, but now I feel like I am never home and the state of my home is a good indication of that. This week has been a flurry of getting a trainer, having her pinch me with the fat-measurer-thingy, doing a bazillion squats (my thighs still burn), cardio, zumba, and tonight the torture of my upper arms is on the schedule. Oh and that nazi is making me write down every single thing I put into my mouth, so please do not eat chocolate in front of me or flaunt your Route 44 Dr. Pepper in front of me, oh how I miss you, Dr. Pepper. I miss the taste of real Dr. Pepper, not Diet Dr. Pepper bc who wants to drink something that tastes like candy? blech.

Needless to say, I am off my rump and hopefully it will start to shrink soon!

Published in: on April 24, 2008 at 8:59 am Leave a Comment
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Random thought

I’m going to the gym in 2 hours, I should put the bag of Hershey’s kisses down and slowly back away…

Published in: on April 18, 2008 at 11:22 am Comments (1)
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SO ANNOYING!

It really really really really really REALLY ticks me off when people go around saying what’s wrong with America for the mere sake of whining about it. Top that off with the fact that you don’t vote b/c you don’t want to “choose the lesser of two evils” (which is a completely stupid argument, I mean, one of them is GOING to be president so get off your high horse and vote for the one who can fix the most), and I find new, suprising dissapointment in you. The respect level dwindles a little.

ANNOYING.

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Published in: on at 11:17 am Leave a Comment
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Random thought

I wish I had pretty handwriting.

 

Published in: on at 9:59 am Leave a Comment
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I HATE SWEAT! (so why did I just join a gym?)

Well after about 6 months of playing the “I just had a baby” card, I decided to put the cookies down and purchase some Slim Fast. That’s okay with me bc Slim Fast kind of tastes like cookies. But seriously, since I had Aubrey I have been thinking a lot about the future, the values I’d like to instill in her, and the example I will set for her. I started to care about things like the environment and what kind of world she is going to get handed as an adult. I started to care about eating organic food (as much as I can afford, anyway) and planting my own garden. I started recycling anything and everything that is recyclable, and I got my office to go along with it.

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One thing that I completely ignored, however, was the whole exercise, get-off-your-rump thing. I’m not so great at that. I absolutely HATE to sweat. HATE IT. I will do anything to avoid it, including running the AC (not environmentally friendly, I know. I’m a woman of contradictions) while I blow dry my hair in the middle of January. I get so irritated in the summer when I shower, spend an hour doing my hair and makeup only to step outside and my scalp immediately undoes all the product and blow-drying and clean feeling that I have infused into my hair. I get so irritated when I get my makeup to cover every blemish that I inevitably get in the summer due to SWEAT and my big ugly pores and as soon as I step outside my forehead gets shiny and oh how I hate it when my upper lip sweats. GAH!

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Needless to say, when a local gym made a deal with my employer for a discount membership, I promptly deleted the email and told myself that Slim Fast and Special K would do the trick. Ryan, however, had a different idea. He mentioned that we should do it together (its like $30/mo for both of us) and that it went along with my whole “wellness living” kick. I agreed, almost even got excited about it, and then for a few weeks we forgot about it. Until Wednesday, when Ryan said, “Hey, let’s go up to the gym at lunch and sign up” to which I said, “Okay but I want to eat first” which, I know it was lunchtime and its appropriate to eat at lunchtime, but I felt guilty. Whatever, I ate the food and then we went.

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I actually like the facility, the childcare is clean and I would feel comfortable leaving Aubrey there for an hour. So I kind of started to get pumped, remember that I used to be able to look forward to bathing suit season instead of dreading it, and that before the baby I could shop for a size that didn’t make me wonder if I am technically obese.

Today I am going for the first time (Ryan has been every day, punk) when I get off work since we get off early on Fridays, and I have already conjured up a massive headache and major fatigue. I don’t wanna go! I wanna go home and take a nap! But I will go, and after a week of hating it, I know I will actually look forward to it. At least I have a workout buddy.

Plus, doesn’t this mean I get to run over to Target and get workout clothes? I think it does!

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Why love America?

This article is long but really worth the read.

Monday, Jul. 05, 1976

Loving America

 

Loving America is a very special task. No other country makes quite the same demands in being loved, nor presents quite the same difficulties.

In most other nations, patriotism is essentially the love of family, of tribe, of land, magnified. There may well be an ideological admixture. The France of the Revolution and Napoleon, for instance, proclaimed the rights of man. Liberty, equality, fraternity were useful enough to overthrow an order and kill a king. But France’s love of her earth and her produce, her landscape, her language and her money—those are the things French patriotism is really about. So it is with other European nations. The songs and the poetry of patriotism are filled with scenery: with rivers and mountains, with cities longed for, with valleys lost, with castles conquered. American patriotism has much less of this specific sense of place. “From sea to shining sea” or “purple mountain majesties” are somehow unconvincing.

It is possible to be deeply moved by the endless American plains, and the settlements defiantly set down in the midst of this vastness, by the coast of Maine or the Rockies or the desert. But that is not loving America. Loving America means loving what it stands for as a political and social vision. Although the great American epic is the conquest and taming of a continent, American patriotism is not concentrated on geography but on a historic event and an idea. The event is the creation of the United States as a fresh start, a different dispensation. The idea is freedom. Both notions have been distorted or perverted at times —that happens with all patriotism. But even when it is misused, American patriotism remains ideological more than racial or ethnic. When the French carved up Germany or the Germans carved up France, it was done for the greater glory of each nation, with firm belief in the innate superiority of their own people.

Whenever Americans went to war, they may have been seized by jingoism to some extent, but more than anything else Americans believed they were fighting for ideas, for a system. It may have been naive to think that other countries were waiting to be given the blessings of democracy, free enterprise and individualism, but that is what Americans did believe.

The U.S. was not born in a tribal conflict, like so many other nations, but in a conflict over principles. Those principles were thought to be universal, which was part of the reason for the unprecedented policy of throwing the new country open to all comers. That not only served to make the U.S. a world power in sheer numbers (compared, for instance, with Canada, which kept its population small and has complained ever since about being overpowered by its southern neighbor). It also greatly reinforced the abstract and ideological nature of American patriotism. The millions from other lands and other cultures had different loves for many different plots of earth, languages, traditions. The unifying love had to be for America as an idea.

In part, this helps to explain the unusual stability of American institutions. In Europe it is possible to shift loyalties from king to republic, from democracy to dictatorship, and still love one’s country. In the U.S. loyalty must be to the institutions themselves. At the same time this explains the extraordinary degree of American unease, selfcriticism, dissatisfaction with leadership. If Congress functions badly, if politicians are corrupt, if Presidents do not inspire, this is seen as a breakdown of the whole American enterprise.

We still perceive America as something unprecedented in history, as an experiment, and as such something that must “work” in order to prove itself over and over again. Hence America demands that love be given not once and for all, but that it be constantly renewed and reaffirmed. That is why both American patriotism and American self-criticism can be so shrill. Attacks on America from within are usually prompted by disappointed love. “My country, right or wrong” is not a very American slogan. We Americans have a hard time accepting a situation in which our country is wrong, not because we are more arrogant than other people, but because our country’s rightness is our soil, our home. One loves one’s birthplace or one’s parents because they are one’s birthplace or one’s parents, regardless of whether the place is especially attractive or the parents especially worthy. One loves them because they exist. America demands to be loved not because it is, but for what it is—and not only for what it is, but for what it does. By its own insistence, to love the U.S. is also to judge it.

Thus, amid the chorus of congratulations on this Bicentennial, America virtually demands that we face the question: Just why do we love America? Amid corruption and commercialism, violence and disorder, resentment and confusion, just what are the country’s qualities that we cherish? One loves America both for its virtues and its faults, which are deeply intertwined. Indeed, one loves America for the virtues of its faults.

One loves the almost obsessive American need to believe, the resistance to cynicism, even if that sometimes means oversimplification and moralizing. One loves the unique American restlessness, the refusal to settle for what is, even if that sometimes means a lack of contemplation and peace. One loves the fact that America sees itself as the shaper of its own destiny, both private and public. While psychology, sociology and determinist historical theories have become massively fashionable, there is still a strong strain of resistance to the notion that man is formed by environment, by outside powers, or that the nation is in the grip of immutable forces. This rejection of fate, this insistence that everything is possible, is surely the dominant American characteristic, and at the heart of its genius. Other nations cringe before fate, or endure it nobly, or outlast it patiently. America insists on dominating, on bullying, fate. This is very invigorating and liberating, for “fate” is only too easily used as a justification for inaction, for maintaining an old order no matter how miserable.

In rejecting fate, the U.S. is the ultimate incarnation of Western, Faustian man. But that posture toward the universe also has immense dangers. There is no shifting of blame, no relief in the notion that “this is the way things are.” We are reluctantly willing to accept as inevitable natural disasters, but little else. Indeed, even nature must be put in its place through technology, and even death is somehow considered an affront, a failure of medicine, or of right living. Disease, poverty and other ancient afflictions simply are not accepted as part of the human condition. Perhaps rightly so—and yet the conviction that they can be banished completely is a tremendous burden because each setback, each delay, is seen as a personal or national failure. That is partly why we Americans are so impatient with the study of history—because history is a reminder of fate. We would rather learn to do than learn to know.

One must love this American view of learning as the tool by which man transforms himself. We Americans believe that everything can be learned, including, to a very large extent, to be what you are not. You can learn to be pretty if you are plain, charming if you are dull, thin if you are fat, youthful if you are aging, how to write though you are inarticulate, how to make money though you are not good with figures. There is something admirable about this, yet nagging questions remain: Where is the line between making the most of one’s potential and reaching for the unattainable? Where is the line between education as a tool and education as a kind of magic? The line is blurred, and that is why when education fails, disillusionment is so bitter.

One loves—with some misgivings—the deep American belief in human perfectibility and goodness. Yet an element of this belief is the fact that America lacks an adequate sense of evil. In the Enlightenment tradition, evil is explained away as a curable flaw. But even in the puritan and evangelical tradition, the American sense of evil is curiously shallow and optimistic, more concerned with behavior (sex or drink, for example) than with the deeper states of sin. The devil can be banished, and evil can be fought; evil is seen almost as a mere “problem” to be solved. There is little sense that evil is a constant presence and inextricably mixed with good. That is why every new American generation seems to discover evil as if it had been invented only yesterday—and by the older generation. There is not much of the insight that man and society are permanently imperfect.

Hence the shock and surprise when we find out that evil is being done by us or in our name. Hence, also, a kind of inverted pride, a mirror image of boosterism; if one side of the American chorus proclaims that the country is the best, the greatest ever or anywhere, the other side asserts that it is the worst ever, the worst anywhere. Both attitudes are equally false and provincial.

The American self-image similarly hovers between idealism and materialism. Can one love the American attitude toward money? Can one love America in the throes of selling, a country wrapped in one endless, all-intrusive commercial? Can one love America in those moments when the immeasurable is measured in the balance sheet, when the ultimate goal becomes the bottom line?

The American spirit is deeply divided about money. In one sense the faith in money is pure: it need not, as it does in so many older societies, apologize for its existence. Money is what it is—good in its own right, a sign of success, if perhaps no longer of divine grace. Yet this view is at war with an older tradition from which, even in a country that slights history, the imagination is never quite free: whether in the Bible or in fairy tales or in great works of fiction, money is held in contempt. The great callings are not trade or commerce but the state or the military or the church or scholarship. The great legendary virtues are not thrift—and its explosive extension, profit—but courage, kindness, faith.

This conflict, old and obvious, is being revived all over the globe today in a revolt against money—against capitalism and the consumer society. What is forgotten all too easily is that money was and is a tremendous liberating force, a great equalizer. It destroyed the old class structure and enabled anyone to rise; money made it possible for people without distinguished birth, without land and sometimes even without education, through enterprise or luck or both, to change their place in life. All this would be little more than a familiar academic footnote if it were not for the fact that to Americans the liberating force of money is still a reality. The bitter complaint always has been that it liberates only a few. We Americans know better. The U.S. has not only created immense wealth, but has organized the redistribution of wealth on a scale far more impressive than anything brought about by later revolutions. In socialist societies people can move and improve their station through ability. But, more typically, they advance through displaying political orthodoxy and learning how to maneuver the vast bureaucratic machine. These societies have their undoubted attractions. They have done away with many of the uncertainties and injustices of money societies. But they have substituted other, and arguably worse, uncertainties and injustices. The majority of the world may not see it that way, but the power of the American capitalist is more benign, and, above all, far more subject to control, than the power of the socialist bureaucrat.

Ultimately all American forces, including money, converge in the passion for freedom—and that is, above all things, what one loves about the U.S. No country carries the belief in freedom farther, the belief that the individual must be free to make of himself what he can, that citizens must be free as far as humanly possible from government. There is about most Americans an attitude toward authority which is immensely bracing and which both dazzles and frightens people of other nations. Most Americans show a self-confidence which to others often appears to be mere swagger, but which is the characteristic of a country that never had either a formal aristocracy or a peasantry.

We tend to think of freedom as a positive and unalloyed good. We speak of “enjoying” freedom. Yet we fail to understand that freedom is not only a blessing but a burden. It is sometimes dizzying to contemplate how much freedom we Americans have undertaken to bear. In politics, in government, in business but also in education and in our private lives, we place immense responsibility on the individual. It can be argued that we bear freedom for much of the rest of the world—not only in the sense of material and military support for the cause of freedom as the West understands it, but in the sense of experimenting with freedom in a kind of vast social laboratory.

Our experiments are not often appreciated by the rest of the world, nor are they necessarily comforting even to ourselves.

We have broken or bent all the traditional framework of rules: in religion, in family, in sex, in every kind of behavior.

Yet we are surprised when the result is both public and personal disorder. We have not grasped the cost accounting of freedom. The great source of our current bafflement is that we somehow expect a wildly free society to have the stability of a tradition-guided society. We somehow believe that we can simultaneously have, to the fullest, various kinds of freedom: freedom from discipline, but also freedom from crime; freedom from community constraints, but also freedom from smog; freedom from economic controls, but also freedom from the inevitable ups and downs of a largely unhampered economy.

Both American conservatives and liberals are embodiments of this paradox. Liberals are forever asking state intervention in the economy for the sake of social justice, while insisting on hands-off in the private area of morals. Conservatives take the opposite view. They demand self-determination in politics, but suspect self-determination in morals. They demand laissez-faire in business, but hate laissez-faire in behavior. In theory, there is no contradiction between these positions. For freedom to be workable as a political and social system, strong inner controls, a powerful moral compass and sense of values, are needed. In practice, the contradiction is vast. The compass is increasingly hard to read, the values hard to find in a frantically open, mobile, fractioned society. Thus a troubling, paradoxical question: Does freedom destroy the inner disciplines that alone make freedom possible?

It is an ancient question, and the way America struggles with it—fitfully, painfully, earnestly, in millions of minds and thousands of communities—is deeply moving. It is the most important struggle going on in the U.S., and its outcome is far from assured. The people willing to undertake this struggle, or even capable of understanding it, are in a clear minority in today’s world. Almost everywhere we see arising a new political feudalism that once again promises a fixed society, an order in which everyone is taken care of—the only price being the loss of freedom.

So one must love America, most of all and most deeply for its constant, difficult, confused, gallant and never finished struggle to make freedom possible.

One loves America for its accomplishments as well as for its unfinished business —and especially for its knowledge that its business is indeed unfinished. One should never love America uncritically, because it is not worthy of America to be accepted uncritically; the insistence on improving the U.S. is perhaps the deepest gift of love. One ultimately loves America not for what it is, or what it does, but for what it promises. True, we know that every national promise sooner or later fades and that fate cannot be forever dominated or outmaneuvered. But we must deeply believe, and we must prove, that after 200 years the American promise is still only in its beginning. ∙Henry Grunwald

Published in: on April 16, 2008 at 10:32 am Leave a Comment
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Alcoholics have bars… I have Target

I think (and my husband would shout a resounding YES!) that when it comes to shopping, I have a problem. I don’t know what it is about those bright white linoleum floors or the red plastic shopping carts (an atrocious amount of non-decomposable matter but that is a whole other blog), but my shopping list suddenly looks too short and I begin to panic that I might run out of toilet paper. And “oh look, the toilet paper is on sale AND THIS WEEK ONLY if you buy a box of Huggies along with a 24 pack of Cottonelle toilet paper, you get a $5 gift card-which, omg I need a new candle for my desk so that would totally pay for a soy blended candle and hey, didn’t someone tell me they sell those Immaculate Baking Company organic cookies here?” You see the trend, I won’t even begin to tell you what runs through my mind when I walk down the baby aisle, but today it had to do with Aubrey’s bottle nipples beginning to turn a suspicious shade of murky and “I should probably buy some new ones and hey, its about time to introduce the sippy cup I wonder if they have transition spouts and I would really prefer to buy glass instead of plastic b/c plastic takes like 500 years to biodegrade and glass is recyclable and hey, I wonder if they sell biodegradable trash bags here”. You get the idea.

It’s so weird to me that I am like this now, because when I wasn’t working I became very enlightened as to what I could live without. Staying home with Aubrey was much more important than getting a good deal on toothpicks or making sure I have a certain brand of cheese. Of course I have always loved to shop, but I turned that switch off when we were living on one paycheck.

And then, this job falls into my lap and all of the sudden our income is doubled and before I know it, not only have I spent all my allotted spending money on picture frames, but I have opened up a Target credit card to pay for all that other stuff that I truly didn’t need… seriously, I didn’t need it, it was mother’s day gifts for my MIL, mom and grandma. Isn’t mother’s day still a month away? Oh but it was on SALE and I HAD to get it bc its SUCH a cute idea!

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I eventually confessed my sin to Ryan, who rolled his eyes and gave a very exasperated, “Oh, Kitty”. I get called Kitty when I do something really cool or I do something really stupid. I am inclined to believe the latter choice applied here. And rightfully so, I mean hello who uses a 24% interest rate card when I have an 11% one sitting at home for emergencies that we can get miles for? To hide it, that’s why. I binged.

So, to recap, the basic signs of addiction are there: binging, remorse, enabling my habit… but hey. I got a swift kick in the pants and I am back on track. I paid off that Target beast on my lunch break AND bought the stuff I needed with CASH. Now if only I could get myself to shred it…

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Published in: on April 15, 2008 at 3:27 pm Comments (2)
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I’m no beautician

So, Aubrey’s bangs were getting so long that they were in her eyes yesterday. You can see where this is going. I got the bright idea to trim them just a little, so she could see. After her bath with her hair still wet, I brushed them down and got the scissors. Only one problem, she LOVES being naked (what baby doesn’t?) so she was squirming and kicking and having a grand ole time. Meanwhile I have a go at the bangs and she moves her head, which resulted in disaster. She now has very short bangs and looks like a boy!

Ryan thought it was hilarious and promptly called our friend Sheri who cuts our hair. She laughed at me and when I asked if she could fix it, I was advised to just let it grow out. Its kinda funny, but not bc my sweet little angel now looks like one of the three stooges.

Add that to the list of things to feel guilty about! ha!

Published in: on April 14, 2008 at 9:12 am Comments (1)
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