Mammary Madness, Peanut Butter Double D Cup and Chunky Monkey Around… Seriously?!

You have to give it to PETA, they know how to get people talking. Their latest idea is refreshingly devoid of splattering fur-wearing models with blood and disparaging people who eat meat. No, the newest ingredient on the “cruelty-free” menu is, get this, breast milk. Click here for the article.

After I stopped laughing, I felt like I should go brush my teeth or powerwash the inside of my brain, its just so weird to me. As a mother who breastfed her child for as long as I produced milk, the idea of selling that milk to make ICE CREAM (Ben and Jerry’s) is just nasty… and foreign and weird. The more I thought about it, the more questions popped into my head. Questions like:

• Where are they gonna get all that milk?
• Are we going to let all the cows out of the Braums dairy farm and replace the stalls with lactating mothers?
• Who would actually eat this ice cream? I mean the grossness of it all is that it IS a human secretion… which I guess cow milk is a secretion too, but I dunno, its weird.
• I know “breast is best”… but isn’t that for BABIES?! Til they are TWO YEARS OLD at the latest?

Then there are the social implications of this. The fact that there might be companies out there paying for breastmilk could put many children at risk. Mothers who are on a lower income bracket, who don’t have the social awareness of needing to protect and take care of their children above all else… they might be the ones who “benefit” from the short term paycheck, but lose in the end when their children become malnurished or neglected. The social implications of this are broad and I would hope that those cases would be rare, but I believe there is an ethical side to this “silly” idea.

Haha. Breastmilk Ice Cream. What do you think?

This is why I am a Pro-life Republican

This morning I was listening to the Laura Ingraham show on talk radio and she had a guy on named Nicholas Provenzo. Check out his blog for the source of my fury. Basically he was saying that anyone who chooses to keep a Downs syndrome baby is an idiot and adding a “burden” to society. He was condemning Sarah Palin for the choice she made to keep her child and even touted it as “immoral”. He stated that life only begins once a child is out of the womb, and he literally said he had no problem with stabbing a 9 month old fetus and killing it if it was still inside the womb.

What has gone wrong with people when they say (and truly believe) these sorts of things? I felt the anger building up and wanted to turn it off, but I couldn’t because I was just so incredulous. Where as most people would say that Sarah Palin is a normal human being who loves her children no matter what, this guy condemns her for keeping her baby because she knew he had Downs before he was born. If people want to make an argument for her not running for office because of this child, that’s one thing (though I disagree with it and think it is actually a step back for the feminist movement… but feminists don’t want to claim Sarah Palin because she is on the side of LIFE even if its been “inconvenient”). But making an argument that she has done this child, her family and her country a disservice by giving birth to an “imperfect” child is so wrong. This way of thinking, that it is “all about me” and that if you are not a contributing member to society you should be dead is SO DISTURBING to me. How can anyone think that this is reasonable or moral? That puts a huge list of people in jeopardy- the elderly, those in nursing homes, Alzheimer’s patients, people with cerebral palsy, those with AIDS, and the mentally retarded to name a few. The dehumanization of these people, God’s children, happens when guys like Nicholas say that they were never really human to begin with.

I don’t know if his point of view is in the majority but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. I don’t want to live in a world that is so eager to kill the inconvenient. I don’t get this liberal crap because its like, okay, they are always throwing fits about being “politically correct” and then they are saying retarded people should be dead? They are all about fighting for the little man, for the helpless, for handing out free health care and food and money to those who “can’t help it” but they are all for the murder of those who “can’t help it”? The lessons that can be learned from people unlike us is not worth it to them, it is a burden and God forbid that life not be a bowl of peaches all the time.

I am angry, I am scared, but most of all I pray for the people in America who would say that a world with legalized convenience murder is a world that is right and just.

What do you think?

A sleep-deprived plea for advice…

So for the past 3-4 weeks Miss Cat has decided that she doesn’t want to sleep at night. She usually wakes up at 12, 2 and 6. Ryan and I have been taking turns getting up with her, checking her diaper, feeding her and rocking her back to sleep. But she will still wake up 2 hours later, just screaming. This has gone on and on and it is really wearing on us. Ryan gets up at 5:45 every day to do breakfast at the school and I get up at 6 in order to get myself ready, feed and dress Aubrey, take her to daycare and get to work by 8. I am normally good with the morning routine, and I usually get to work right on time if not a little early. The past week or so I have been lagging because we haven’t been sleeping. Its hard to get into that restful state of sleep when you are jolted awake every two hours by a piercing scream. I have stopped using the monitor because I would get up at every little noise. I have tried feeding her more later at night, I have tried putting cereal in the bottle at night, I have tried keeping her up later, I have tried reducing her naptime (well I asked the babysitter to do this during the day… 3 hour naps seemed like a little much, I dunno, is it?)… I feel like I have tried everything!

Everything, that is, but letting her cry. We are both guilty of not wanting to do this. It really is heartbreaking and I don’t know if any of you have seen Aubrey cry, but she has the biggest crocodile tears you have ever seen. Its pitiful. Well last night after getting up three times, number 4 had us very irritated. We stumbled out of bed and tried to shoosh her. She proceeded to try to crawl out of her crib and wailed so much she started sounding hoarse. I got her some water in her cup which she threw across the room. She was holding her little arms up to me just wanting me to pick her up. But before I could, Ryan told me he would take care of her and that I should go to bed. He talked to her but didn’t pick her up and the crying was too much. I started crying. She finally fell asleep after about 15 minutes and woke up again at 6:45, so at least I got to get ready for work.

What am I doing wrong? Why can’t she just sleep? She’s gotta be exhausted, I googled some stuff and it said she is supposed to be getting 13-14 hours of sleep a day. She got 7 very disjointed hours last night plus a 2 hour nap during the day. But if I let her sleep too long during the day she won’t go to sleep until 10 or 11, and that just won’t do because Mama has to work, unfortunately.

I feel so guilty for letting her cry, I feel so guilty that she is even crying in the first place. Like, if I stayed home with her she would be more secure in knowing that I am here, I am not going anywhere, don’t be scared, and her life would be so much more uninterrupted. I hate having to work. I hate having to pay someone else to take care of my child. I hate it that she is jumbled around so much. I hate it that I can’t be a good housewife and mom and instead sit on my butt in front of a stupid computer all day while someone else is playing DHS-approved games with my kid.

Internet, please help me. Maybe there is something I haven’t tried. Or maybe I need to start buying lottery tickets so we can afford for me to stay home. Or maybe I need to get over my built-in need for mommy-ness and just deal with the fact that we can’t live on one paycheck. I hate not feeling like I can do this well, I hate vowing never to have another kid because I can’t even deal with what I juggle right now. I hate falling asleep at my desk and I hate not having energy to take my daughter on a walk when I get home from work.

Any advice?

Never Forget…

I have never been to New York, the Pentagon or Pennsylvania, but every year on September 11, I weep for the memories of those lost. I don’t know anyone who died, I haven’t been to ground zero, and I have no idea how I would have reacted if I had been there. I do know this: I am an American, as were they. No matter your ideas on whose fault it was, no matter what political party you belong to, no matter your religion… I think we can all agree that these attacks were horrific and changed our lives forever.

I was a sophomore in college on 9.11.01. I was getting ready for class, in the shower actually when the first plane hit. My entire shower caddy for no reason at all just fell off the shower head and all of my toiletries landed on my toes. Annoyed and in pain, I muttered to myself, this is not going to be a good day. 2 seconds after I had wrapped myself in a towel and prepared to apply my makeup, my roomate’s sister barrelled into our dorm room and frantically told me to turn on my TV. I tuned in just in time to see the second plane hit. It took me a long time to realize that this was real, this was really happening. But why? At 19 years old, I had not educated myself about the world much- except to know that I had lived in foreign countries due to my dad’s job, I spoke spanish and had a wider worldview than many of my fellow students at my tiny Christian college in Bethany, OK. I knew what it was like to live outside of the USA, and because of my sadness while I was gone, I was a girl who LOVED MY COUNTRY, still do, and could not understand why anyone else would hate it.

That day was crazy. Everyone panicked and booked it to 7-11 to fill up their gas tanks because relatives were calling with stories of $10/gallon gas and fears that Oklahoma City would be hit again. Chapel was cancelled, we all gathered together and cried and prayed and tried to make sense of it all. There were rants of the end times which made me mad and scared… I got a call from my aunt that my cousin who worked in the Pentagon was unreachable. That’s when I lost it. I went to the park and sat in my car and railed against God, the Muslims, the world. I didn’t feel any better. I didn’t feel any safer. I went back to my room to see images of desperate people flinging themselves off of buildings because they’d rather die like that than burn to death. I threw up. My aunt called to tell me that my cousin was alive and well. I went to class that night, where no one could concentrate. All of the emotion was dizzying, and just thinking of it today overwhelms me. I cannot imagine what it must be like today for those who were actually there and survived, for those who lost someone close to them, for those who saw it from their rooftops.

Time has calmed me- I know that God has a purpose for it somewhere, even if after 7 years we don’t know what it is. I know that not all Muslims are crazed Jihadists. I know the true depth of sacrifice our troops make to ensure this doesn’t happen again. I don’ think I’ll ever be able to not cry when I see the images from that day. I will never be able to really convey what my heart and mind were going through that day. I will always instill respect and love of country into my daughter, I will always be grateful for the sacrifice of people who put people and country above their own lives and fight to keep America safe. I will always remember the heroes of 9.11.01, and I will never forget.

Click here to remember with me. What about you? Where were you on 9/11 and how did it impact you? I’d love for you to share…

Would you like some dip with that football?

So my last post was all about life as the wife of a man obsessed with Fantasy Football. I mentioned chips and dip, an essential component of Sundays in front of the tube. Here are my top three favorite dips. If your home is anything like mine, all the OU/NFL football going on requires this dietary staple on a regular basis. Enjoy! *Note: make these with organic and lower fat ingredients and pair with organic chips for a healthier, tastier snack*

Abuelita’s guacamole:

Mash 4 ripe avocadoes to smoothness. Add the juice of half a lime, about 1 tbsp. of mayonaise, and some regular salt to taste. Mix together with a fork until it becomes creamy and delicious. Add tomatoes, jalapeños, cilantro or onions to your preference.

Ryan’s Fiery Salsa:

In a blender or food processer, combine a 16 oz. can of whole tomatoes, a handful of cilantro leaves, garlic salt to taste, 1 poblano pepper, 1 jalapeño pepper, and 1 tsp. of cumin. Blend to smoothness and add salt or cumin to taste. If you don’t like it very spicy, leave the jalapeño out- poblano’s don’t have quite as much heat. If you like it chunky, don’t blend it for very long.

David’s Fiesta Ranch dip (This is wonderful on veggies and chips!):

Combine one 16 oz. container of sour cream (low fat or even fat free still taste great in this recipe) with one package of Hidden Valley Fiesta Ranch dip. Mix it in the container to save yourself some cleanup. SO EASY and SOOOO GOOD!

Enjoy and BOOMER SOONER!!!

Hunting and Fantasy Football, oh my!

I have come to accept the fact that while the fall brings a welcome relief to my constantly sweating scalp (gross, I know, and equally annoying), it also brings me to my widowhood. I used to say that I became a “deer widow” on October 1st- the first day of bow season. I could pretty much count on spending the weekend alone from October to February. Luckily for Ryan, I can be bought, so as long as I got mall money everytime he left, I was a wonderful contributor to America’s economy. When I had the baby, he definetly recognized that he couldn’t be gone every weekend and I was very grateful for it. I also realized that hunting for him is like hunting for me, only he is hunting animals and I am hunting bargains in the back of The Gap. We all need time for ourselves, so over the years of our marriage I have made an effort to keep the whining about abandoment to a minimum.

 I’ll never understand the appeal of spending a ton of money for a deer lease, plus a ton of money for ammo, gas, meat processing, and antler mounting just for the pleasure of sitting in a tree in the Oklahoma wind, with nary an ipod for company, staring across a field for one shot at a poor little animal just trying to eat. However, I always get a Coach purse and shopping money out of the deal so I keep my mouth shut.

All that to say that while I enjoy getting to shop and go to Tulsa for the weekend a lot in the fall, I don’t enjoy being away from Ryan so much. Much as we rag on each other, we are pals and like being with each other. So my new form of widowhood is much more enjoyable, albeit deviod of trips to the mall and that matching Coach wallet. You know what I’m talking about ladies, and that would be the Fantasy Football widow.

 This long-suffering soul routinely gives up the flat screen TV (hey! I wanted to watch my DVR’d episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8!) AND the computer for the sake of watching games and checking stats online. She outwardly sighs about all of the football but secretly hopes that ESPN would show one more shot of Brett Favre. She makes dip and sets out chips and catches up on her reading as her husband whoops in delight, teaches the baby about running backs and posts trash talk on the message board.

The thing I like about FF is that Ryan is relaxing and having fun, and he is doing it at home. I roll my eyes sometimes about the obsession, but the truth is that I enjoy our lazy fall Sundays, with football in the background and time together in the foreground. I asked if I could join his league this year, and he laughed at me.

Guess he’s scared I’ll whoop him with all my secret knowledge