It’s Not Yours!

A couple of weeks ago I was participating in a discussion regarding money, people and treating both rightly. I was new to the particular group of people talking about it, so I didn’t speak up as much as I wanted to, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about ever since, so I’ll share my thoughts here (by the way, this discussion did not occur at my home church, Divine Life).

 The discussion was about evangelizing people and what church is supposed to be for those who are either tired of church or who have been hurt by it. One of the points the speaker made was that they will know that what we have is different by the way we treat them. Our love, kindness and seeing them for who they are instead of what they can do for us will set us apart. We were then encouraged to do at least one random act of kindness and to do it anonymously within the next couple of weeks. 

I was surprised at how many people had a hard time grasping this concept, especially after all the publicity that the “Pay it Forward” movement at Starbucks got last Christmas. (If you aren’t familiar with it, a person in the drive thru at Starbucks decided to pay for drinks in the car behind him. He pays, drives off and when the next car pulled up to their free drinks, they decided to pass it on and pay for the person behind them. This started a chain of people “paying it forward” for an entire afternoon). Maybe it is in my nature to buy gifts for people, but I loooove doing stuff like that! Especially when it’s anonymous and for a total stranger. You never know when you can turn someone’s day around with something like that. 

At one point when discussing ways to bless people, one lady piped up and said (very honestly, I must add) that she didn’t want to do it, because it was her money and she had worked hard for it. I don’t know if she was saying that to get a discussion going or to generalize or if she really does feel that way, but I found it very disturbing. We are talking about a cup of coffee, not a steak dinner (which was another thing she hoped God wouldn’t “make” her buy for someone). It doesn’t really require a lot of sacrifice, and it is the attitude behind the act that will please or displease God. This was where I bit my tongue (b/c honestly, I was pretty irritated at her for it) but I wish I had shared with her what God has taught me about stewardship, possessions, money… even my child. 

It has been a three year journey, and I in no way have “arrived”, but to sum it up: IT’S NOT MINE. 

The only reason I have anything- a job, a house, a car, an education, a savings account, my family, my life- is because God has given it to me. He allows me to breathe and live. He has given me possessions so that I may be a good steward over them. I have an added responsibility to use and nurture them wisely, because I am a Christian. Just as you’d be extra careful borrowing your dad’s brand new car, we tend to be more cautious with things that we know are not ours.

 My house should be used as a place of nurturing and fellowship… my car should take me to places where I can be a blessing… my education should equip me to interact wisely with people…my savings account should enable me to meet a need when I see one…my family should be cherished because they are God’s children…my life should reflect the truth of eternity. I fail at all of these many, many times, but it is something I am now constantly aware of and try to live out genuinely.

 Let me go back to the savings account for a minute. When Ryan and I got married, the plan was to wait 5 years to have kids, save money and work and then I’d be a stay-at-home-mom. 2 years later we had a perfect little baby girl, no money in savings and plenty of debt on 4 different credit cards. You might be wondering how we let ourselves get to that point. Good question. It was poor planning, greed, and a general abuse of the things God had blessed us with. Yet instead of turning to the Lord for help, we tried to help ourselves. I wasn’t working and Ryan was picking up extra catering jobs. It felt very frantic, and there was always something looming- “Well, if we can just pay down this credit card, I’ll calm down. If we could just get $1000 in our savings account, I’ll feel secure”.

 I eventually ended up going back to work, and of course the extra income made it possible to pay off our credit cards and start saving again.  But the Lord really worked on us through those hard times, because we started to realize that nothing WE do will take away that feeling of something just not being “right” about the whole situation. Sure, we have to do our part with planning, budgeting and cutting up credit cards, but we also have to allow God to work on our perspective. I will never again let money own me, I will care about it only for what it can do for people. The savings account is not supposed to be your “safety net”. Yes, it makes me feel more secure knowing that if I lost my job today we could pay the bills for awhile, but that’s not why we contribute to it every paycheck. The savings account is there so that when we are made aware of a need, God can meet it through our willingness to obey him.

 It’s not mine. It’s His. And you know what? As soon as we realized this and started living it out, Ryan got a ton of catering jobs and we will more than surpass our “goal” for the number by the end of October. Don’t hear what I am not saying: none of this is to say how great we are, but to say how great GOD is in what He has taught us about caring for His people. 

This perspective can be applied to anything. I have a lot of inner struggles with myself as a mother. I am constantly worrying that Aubrey is not eating the best she could be, or getting enough sleep, or wondering why she throws fits and says “no” all the time (note to self: um, she’s TWO, that’s why!). One thing that really reels me back in with my concerns for her is to understand that she is not mine. She is God’s daughter, and He has entrusted her to my care for her life here on earth. I cannot be with her every second of every day, I have to trust and pray that God holds her in His Hands. She is HIS child, not mine. That is so liberating and exciting! It doesn’t let me off the hook when it comes to parenting, discipline, and proper care, but it does allow me to enjoy her and let her be who God has created her to be without constantly controlling every detail (even though, if you know me at all, that is something I fight every day). 

One of my dearest friends is about to adopt a baby. I see this concept playing out before my eyes with her choice to adopt: that God would give life to my friend with this new baby in mind. That her life situations, experiences and relationship with God would bring her and her husband to a meeting point with this baby, whom God has also led and created for their care. That she can love and anticipate someone she has never met is a testament to her faith and obedience in the Lord, and that she can trust that no matter how this child comes to her, she will be Jesus in their life is so beautiful it makes me cry. That baby is NOT hers, literally, but it will be given to her (after a TON of hard work, paperwork, and planning) and she will care for God’s child as if she had birthed it from her own body. Awesome!

 Stewardship applies to everything in our life. We have to make wise decisions about our time, money and resources so that we are able to maximize our positive impact on the lost in this world. Keeping an eternal perspective is difficult, because it isn’t something we can totally grasp, but it is something that can make what we are called to do make more sense.

 So yes, save your money. And yes, give to charity! And for Pete’s sake, TITHE (because like I said, it was God’s money in the first place). Bathe your kids, make them eat their veggies, kiss your husband/wife, clean your house and don’t use credit cards. Use your money to bless others, buy them a latte, and enjoy your family and friends. Through our obedience to God and what He has called us to, the cares of money and responsibility will slowly turn into blessings, and when we are challenged to give beyond what we imagined, we will be able to.

 IT’S NOT MINE. And that’s just the way I’d like to keep it.

 “Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel.  It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness”.  ~Henrik Ibsen

Earth Day Article

I wrote this for an upcoming publication at work, thought I would share. Thanks Jill for the resources!

The Christian’s responsibility in the “Resource Recession”

 “Recession” seems to be the new buzz word these days. Everyone is worried about their 401k’s not having enough money to carry them through retirement. People are losing jobs, cutting coupons, carpooling and doing whatever they can to conserve their resources in these hard economic times. It seemed like it came out of nowhere, but the more research that was done, the more we saw that this crisis had been brewing for a while.

 

We can learn a lot from the economic situation we are in right now and apply it to other areas of life- the most obvious one to me is the world we live in. Whether you believe that climate change is a result of man’s actions toward it or not, there is no denying the fact that we use the earth’s resources as if they will never run out. If we keep at this pace, the world we hand our grandchildren is going to be a big disappointment to them.

 

In the beginning, humans were given dominion over the earth- not domination. The Hebrew meaning of the word “dominion” means “higher on the root of a plant”. Dominion is not unrestricted use of the earth’s resources- it is taking care of that which holds us up. If you destroy the root, you kill the whole plant. Many Christians have gotten away with not caring about the planet because they believe that God will destroy it at the end of all things- but the fact remains that Christ will return, and you have to ask yourself “How am I going to hand this gift of His Creation back to God?”. Yes, He will restore the earth and it will be made new, but that doesn’t take away from our responsibility to care for it. If I applied that thinking to everything, then I would not pay my bills, keep my body healthy, vaccinate my child or come to work. While we are not of this world, we have to live in it, so why not take care of it?

 

It’s interesting to me that the first covenant God made was after the great flood. Genesis 9:8-17 tells us the details of this covenant, and it repeatedly says that God is establishing it with man and every living creature of all flesh. This shows that God has lovingly created this world, that he cared enough to save animals and plants along with man on the ark and that He loves His creation. If I created something- say, a clay pot- I would care about it. I would do what I could to protect it from getting dirty or breaking. How much more would a loving and just God care about the life that He created?

 

We have a Christian responsibility to conserve. Turn off the lights if you are not using them, recycle, don’t print tons of copies of things that you can have electronically, do all your errands at once to reduce your drive, don’t encourage the toxicity of our world by dumping trash where it doesn’t belong and releasing harsh chemicals into the air. Just as we care about our 401k’s and our bank accounts and will do whatever we can to ensure that they will be there in the future, we have a deeper responsibility to the environment. The earth provides a free lunch, but only if we control our appetite. We must live Christianly in all aspects of life, not just in church or at work or in relationships with other people. It must permeate everything we are and everything we do. God requires it of us- how can we not bow before him and obey?

Prayer

Well everyone knows how upset I am about the way the election went. I feel a lot of things, among them dissapointment (in my fellow Americans and even my own family), fear, annoyance and irritation. And you know what, that’s okay. I don’t want you to try and convince me that I shouldn’t feel that way. I am sick of hearing why I am wrong, these are my feelings so leave me alone, I will feel them as long as I need to. That being said, I know I can’t stay in this funk forever or my husband might leave me. I don’t count myself as Pentecostal or charasmatic. I go to an Anglican church about twice a month by myself, and if Ryan was with me on it and my family wouldn’t disown me, I would so be Catholic. I love the PH church, grew up in it but it’s just not my thing, not the best form of worship for me.

All that to say that I received this from one of our Prayer Directors (I work for the Pentecostal church) and it really comforted me. Since this is MY blog I am posting it and if you don’t like it, please keep your comments to yourself bc I don’t know how to close them.

From: Dr. James A. Roberts

iWIN Director, Rocky Mountain Conference

 

Presidential Prayer

I, like most conservatives, am disappointed in the way the elections turned out. It seems like nearly everything and everybody that I voted for went just the opposite direction. It would be very easy to let a root of bitterness creep in, but we cannot and must not allow that to happen. As Christians we must pray for the new president, as Scripture commands. What should we pray for?

President elect, Obama claims to be Christian, however many of his stances are far from Christian, i.e., abortion, same sex marriage, etc. Pray that he has a true conversion. Pray that those with strong Christian beliefs be protected and not be relabeled “radicals” “bigots” and such. Pray that God would use President elect Obama to bring peace to our society in order for the Gospel to flourish. The black liberation theology, which Obama sat under for many years at his church and to my knowledge, has not disavowed, is not Christian. Some of the positions he has taken and acted upon are destructive of Christian faith. However, a study of the life of Paul shows that God is able to get one’s attention and turn that life around. Pray that it be so with President elect Obama.

Pray that God will bless President-elect Obama’s life, family, and new leadership role. May the One True God speak to Obama’s heart on a daily basis as he makes policy and serves this nation, still the best nation on earth. Prayer is key!
Pray the new leadership will have a cleansing effect on the church in the United States. Sometimes we do not get the leader we want, but rather the one we deserve. We must not put our faith in politicians and or politics. We must repent and trust in Jesus, Who is the head of the church and the only One Who can bring peace to this much-divided land that we call home.
President elect, Obama will soon be taking the oath of office along with a promise to uphold the constitution. Pray that God will hold him to that and that he will be blessed in keeping the oath, along with all of its promises.
Pray that God will strengthen him in every Godly venture and prevent a radical liberal agenda from making headway in our nation. Pray that he will have such a radical, true Christian conversion that he has the courage to be bold with his Christian faith in the administration of our country.
Pray that he steps up to the plate with the promise he made of listening to the other side. History shows that when one party controls both the White house and Congress the tendency is to force their agenda on the other party. Pray that Obama keeps that promise and if he does, he can be a great president.

 Pray for the virtues of prudence and temperance in a culture, which seems to have a disdain for both. Pray that God’s Word will flourish in the United States of America and that God’s will be done.

Pray that Christians would not act like radicals and bigots, and will be given discernment to see God’s plan in reacting to President-elect Obama and his administration (while at the same time not sacrificing principles). Remember that these people are not our enemies. Go back and read Ephesians, chapter 6 and pray that we all keep a proper perspective.
Pray for the upholding of justice, tempered with the right amounts of mercy, for the good of the nation.
Pray for the peace and safety of this nation and pray for peace and safety for Israel.

Pray that Godly people will begin to step up to the plate and be counted. Check your hearts often. Put your hope in Christ.

Pray that all of our national leaders, both current and soon to come will truly acknowledge God, both in word and deed.
Pray that the liberal agenda on abortion, same sex marriage, etc. does not end in a “hate speech” law that would affect churches and pastors ability to speak out on moral issues.
Pray that our new president and vice president will work to establish peace; protect all the citizens of our nation, especially the weak and helpless (unborn babies), and have their speech seasoned with grace. Let all citizens of the United States exercise the freedoms we have been given by God, while at the same time showing honor and esteem to out national leaders.
Pray that President-Elect Barrack Obama and Vice President-Elect Joseph Biden, be protected from harm.
Pray that Almighty God will sit in the councils of our nation and guide our leaders in their deliberations. Certainly, God did not die last night, nor did America. God is still in charge. We are living in some of the most interesting and exciting times in the history of the world.
Father God, we pray that President Elect, Obama, his Cabinet members, Vice President Biden, Speaker Pelosi and all the members of Congress, Governors, all the members of the state legislatures, nation wide and all others whom are placed in authority over us, will take such measures as will preserve peace and Godly order in our land.
Protect this nation and it’s leaders from weapons of destruction, so that we may be a light set on a hill, illuminating the Gospel to the entire world. Give all of our leaders strength, Godly wisdom, and courage to do those things, which will serve the Kingdom of God and also the best interests of our entire nation and its people. Turn the hearts of our leaders in a right direction and help them maintain a just and righteous peace.
God Bless America

 

 

Cartoon… but not funny.

This is why I am a Pro-life Republican

This morning I was listening to the Laura Ingraham show on talk radio and she had a guy on named Nicholas Provenzo. Check out his blog for the source of my fury. Basically he was saying that anyone who chooses to keep a Downs syndrome baby is an idiot and adding a “burden” to society. He was condemning Sarah Palin for the choice she made to keep her child and even touted it as “immoral”. He stated that life only begins once a child is out of the womb, and he literally said he had no problem with stabbing a 9 month old fetus and killing it if it was still inside the womb.

What has gone wrong with people when they say (and truly believe) these sorts of things? I felt the anger building up and wanted to turn it off, but I couldn’t because I was just so incredulous. Where as most people would say that Sarah Palin is a normal human being who loves her children no matter what, this guy condemns her for keeping her baby because she knew he had Downs before he was born. If people want to make an argument for her not running for office because of this child, that’s one thing (though I disagree with it and think it is actually a step back for the feminist movement… but feminists don’t want to claim Sarah Palin because she is on the side of LIFE even if its been “inconvenient”). But making an argument that she has done this child, her family and her country a disservice by giving birth to an “imperfect” child is so wrong. This way of thinking, that it is “all about me” and that if you are not a contributing member to society you should be dead is SO DISTURBING to me. How can anyone think that this is reasonable or moral? That puts a huge list of people in jeopardy- the elderly, those in nursing homes, Alzheimer’s patients, people with cerebral palsy, those with AIDS, and the mentally retarded to name a few. The dehumanization of these people, God’s children, happens when guys like Nicholas say that they were never really human to begin with.

I don’t know if his point of view is in the majority but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. I don’t want to live in a world that is so eager to kill the inconvenient. I don’t get this liberal crap because its like, okay, they are always throwing fits about being “politically correct” and then they are saying retarded people should be dead? They are all about fighting for the little man, for the helpless, for handing out free health care and food and money to those who “can’t help it” but they are all for the murder of those who “can’t help it”? The lessons that can be learned from people unlike us is not worth it to them, it is a burden and God forbid that life not be a bowl of peaches all the time.

I am angry, I am scared, but most of all I pray for the people in America who would say that a world with legalized convenience murder is a world that is right and just.

What do you think?

In the words of Martha Stewart, that’s a good thing!

(Side note: Martha is one of my personal heroes when it comes to domestic goddess-ness. Is the woman even real?!)

Something that is always running through my head that I don’t vocalize nearly enough is that my church is awesome. Divine Life is unlike any other church I have been to- it practices Christianity in so many real ways that you are constantly aware of how your life should, can and does affect the world around you (which can actually be pretty annoying when you want to have a selfish fit ). We are Pentecostal in tradition, but probably have the most “un-Pentecostal” order of service that most are used to. We meet on Sunday nights and our service is very… well, I supposed “organic” is a good word to describe it. There is an atmosphere of reverence but the freedom to worship how you want. We have stations that you can visit during service to give of your offerings, take communion, journal, do artwork and submit prayer requests. This encourages me to be an active participant in worship, not just standing there and letting the worship team be the only active participants. The sermons delivered are very intellectual and really make you think. There is usually time at the end for questions and clarification.

Like I said, it is unlike any other church I have attended. I say all of that to give you an idea of what to expect if you ever want to check it out. With so many great options in Oklahoma City, I know you have your pick of which church to visit, so I for one would be super pumped if you showed up

Okay, I said all of that because I want to encourage you all to begin to live out what I dub “Practical Christianity”. We go to church on Sundays and hear about how much God loves us, how we should respond to Him; we get instruction on how to go about this life and how to get through another day. But another thing that should be taking away from Sundays is how to live Christianly. I am no expert on this, to be sure, but hopefully the conscious effort is a good start. As Christians we are to show Christ to everyone. We are to behave in a way that humanizes people, and that takes an effort to get your focus off of yourself.

An example of this from my personal life is a little story from my banking days. I was in college working as a teller and my grandma in Chile had just died over the weekend. I wasn’t going to get to go to the funeral and was dealing with the fact that she wouldn’t be at my wedding which was 2 months away. An older lady came in and did a deposit. Being distracted, I gave her the wrong amount of change (I felt tears coming on and honestly just wanted her to leave so I could go cry in the bathroom). Man, that old lady just laid into me on what an idiot I was, how I was trying to steal her money, blah blah blah. I just burst out crying right here and the whole story poured out of my mouth- “I’m sorry but my grandma just died and I am getting married and she won’t be there and I can’t go to the funeral and I won’t have any closure and let me just count it again, please give me a break I’M HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY!!!”

The look on homegirl’s face was enough to make me feel like a jerk, but I am sure her level of jerkitude was much much higher. She mumbled an apology and sent me flowers the next day. I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad, I just wanted her to understand why I was having a “human moment” and to treat me as such. I’m sure we all try our hardest to think that there is always a reason people act the way they do when they mess up our order, miscount our change or cut us off right before the light turns red. But making a conscious effort to live Christianly, to humanize people by our interaction with them- well, that is rewarding in itself.

I kind of got off on a tangent there but that is one of the greatest things I have learned at DLC. And now I just want to thank my church so much. Ryan and I recently learned of a family in need. They are a family just like any of us- nice house, two cars, two kids, good family. However, due to choices and outside influences and people who DON’T make it a priority to put people above money, they are in a tough spot. Looking for a well-paying job these days isn’t easy and with two small children, simple things like diapers and food can cause major anxiety when it comes time to purchase them.

At our small group, Ryan and I asked for the group to pray for them. We asked them to pray practically, that they find jobs. We asked them to pray spiritually, that God would heal the wounds that the bad turns of luck had inflicted on them. We asked them to pray for the couple’s marriage and for their family. Our small group pastor took the needs, anonymously, to our congregation. The response was amazing- not only because of the amount of diapers and supplies that came in, but that it was for people they didn’t even know. They just know that we care for and love this couple and that they needed some help.

Last night we took the stuff to the family and they were surprised that our church would do that for people they didn’t even know. But to me, and many other Christians in this world, I am sure it would be only natural. There is the mindset of “there is a need that I can help meet, so I do it”. Who cares if they don’t go to my church or don’t belong to my political party… who cares if they live here or North Dakota, who cares what the circumstances are? I am proud to be a part of Divine Life, because it is made up of people who will drop what they are doing, re-prioritize and practice their Christianity. It was more than we asked for, but the impact reached further beyond the phrase “We’ll be praying for you”.

Prayer is essential. Everyday Christianity benefits from prayer and spirituality. But it is most seen and felt when it comes to those practical, everyday actions. I challenge you to implement the goal of humanizing those you come into contact with, and to live it out for all to see. How can that be anything but a good thing?

Outrageous

I’m sorry, I don’t care if you think I am judgemental. I don’t see how you can be a Christian and vote for Barack Obama, a man who supports this monstrosity and be able to sleep at night. It is infuriating and abominable.

Please click here, watch, and send to everyone you know.

It’s been awhile…

Just a little update since I haven’t blogged in awhile. Florida was awesome, first of all. Daniel and Amy had a beautiful, romantic wedding and it was an honor to be a part of it. It was more of an event than just a wedding. The food was good, the families getting to know each other was good, the toasts were good and the love was apparent. Waking up at 3:30 am to shave my legs wasn’t my favorite part of the weekend, but the sunrise ceremony was, well, holy in a way. It really felt sacred. At least, until the beachcomber stopped right behind the minister to watch the wedding. I am pretty sure that a lot of the pics have a scruffy dude in his board shorts holding a metal detector in them. Ha!

Other than the wedding, things are normal. Aubrey now has 3 teeth and is very close to walking. She also has her mother’s touch of OCD, today while Ryan was in the shower she took all my shampoo and cosmetic bottles out from under my sink and lined them up, labels out in a perfectly straight line. That’s my girl!

I am feeling the frenzy as the election propaganda gets shoved down my throat every evening, and I am also feeling alone in my rejection of the savior of the world, Mr. Si Se Puede Himself, Barack Obama. But that’s another blog, one I probably won’t even write because there is no convincing his followers the evils that lie ahead for America if he becomes President. Not that I worship in the church of McCain either but one of them is going to be President, so I am throwing my full support behind the guy who says its wrong to deliver all of a baby but its head, stab it in the neck and deliver it dead (late term abortion). Sorry, don’t care much about the other promises Obama makes, if he’s down with allowing that to happen in this country, I am not down with him. Everyone has rights but fetuses in this country and it makes me sick. I didn’t care much about this issue til I had Aubrey but now its the only one that matters much. Okay fine, this will be my political blog. I was talking to a friend about this, a worshiper of His Holiness and he made the comment that you can’t tell people what to do. Which to a certain extent, I agree. This is America, the land of the free, etc etc. But when it comes to moral judgements and right and wrong, I’m sorry, but you can’t do whatever you want when what you want is MURDER. Don’t talk to me about it, talk to the Big Man Upstairs, you know, the author of the 10 Commandments? I’m pretty sure abortion pisses him straight off. It is a tragedy that this is not an issue in the church.

That leads me to an interesting question: how do Christians justify voting for someone who supports abortion? I’m not being judgemental, seriously, if you are a Christian and reading this, comment me and tell me how you justify that in your mind. I really do want to understand it because to me it seems very black and white. And please do not throw in all the “well the war is murdering people” because that is a separate issue. First off, remember Sadaam Hussein (fun little fellow, gassed about 10,000 of his own countrymen just because) and all the murder he committed? What’s he up to now? Oh yeah, that’s right, he’s out of the picture, thanks to our troops in Iraq. No one forces American men and women to join the military and put themselves in harm’s way for a cause greater than themselves. They are of age, they are adults and they make their own decisions. But a little fetus? Does he/she get to say “um, wait a minute, there are hundreds of families out there who would like to adopt me and I would prefer that you not vaccum out my brains just yet”. Its gross, crass, I know, but so is the abonimable practice of baby killing.

It’s not popular. You may not think its even right. I know lots of people in my church who just love Barack Obama and think he is a rockstar. I don’t even bring this up around them (kinda sad, really, I mean I love these people and I feel like I can’t even be real with them about this sometimes) because it makes me feel completely isolated and I know the thought “warmonger” probably runs through their minds every time I mention anything positive about Bush and Iraq. The point is, I know I am the cheese who stands alone. I’m okay with that because I feel very strongly about this.

I’m sure Barack Obama has good intentions. I’m pretty sure America isn’t going to split down the middle and the world will swallow us whole if he gets elected. I’m sure he’s not a Muslim or the Antichrist or all this other silliness going around my inbox, but I am also sure that his policies of “let’s sit down and have tea with Iran, I’m sure we can fix it all with some conversation” are going to end up with a report on CNN that has the words “nuclear bomb” in it.

Listen. America is a great place. I know, I have lived in other countries and I like this one the best. My father came here with $200, two suitcases and not knowing a word of English. He is now an American citizen, speaks English and is an accomplished businessman. This is the “American Dream” and I believe that it is only truly a dream come true when you go through the process. Having things handed to you are nice, but earning them is so much more rewarding. When we moved to Mexico, we had to go to Houston for 2 days, get fingerprinted, run through the system, have pictures taken, learn spanish and assimilate in order to live there legally. I don’t remember my parents or any other Americans living there throwing fits about the requirements (other than they were a pain and the system is corrupt) or trying to get free healthcare under the radar.

So I’m just saying, if you are going to think “Christianly” about the election (if you are a Christian I don’t see any other way to think about it), take all the issues into account, not just that Bush is fun to make fun of and McCain is old. (everyone thought Bob Dole was old when he ran years ago and he’s still around)

I’ll try to keep my rants to a minimum but hey, this is my outlet. I don’t get to talk about it much anywhere else since my best friends could care less and Aubrey just kind of stares at me. Stella gets it though. She’s quite the listener.

My stations of the Cross

At church we have been talking about the Stations of the Cross. It is something I have not ever been exposed to since I didn’t grow up in a liturgical denomination. But they really help you focus on what Jesus did for us at Easter and make you ponder why. Chris asked us to take these and make them our own, to ponder them, to interpret them, and then to share.

 

Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Aubrey, I became somewhat fascinated with Mary, the mother of Jesus. Knowing that she surely went through everything I was, the backaches, the swollen feet, the nausea, the cravings… it humanized her. She wasn’t just an icon I see in a church, her holy face calm and serene. She wasn’t the expressionless pictures we see in early art, holding her perfectly still child.

 

Yes, she was holy. Yes she was favored of the Lord. Her experience as a young, pure virgin girl becoming pregnant is something that I want to give more thought to. Imagine the embarrassment of people in your village talking about you, calling you a whore, questioning your betrothed as to why he would even think about linking himself to you.

 

Imagine being 8 months pregnant, riding on a donkey miles away to have your baby, whom you know is begotten of God, in a stable. I look back on the birth of Aubrey and cannot imagine it any different… the checking in, the needles, the pain, the rest, the suddenness, and then there she was. Mary didn’t have it so easy. She had some blankets instead of that nifty birthing bed, she had cousins or servants instead of an obstetrician and 3 different nurses, she had someone’s hand to hold in the pain instead of an epidural… and then, after all the labor and giving birth, instead of seeing the nurses clean her baby and put him under a warmer while she rested from the ordeal, she wrapped him in clothes and laid him in a donkey’s feeding trough. Then, I am sure she cried at wondering why, if she was bearing the Son of God, did she have to beg for a STABLE to give birth in, why, if she was bearing the Son of God, did she have to lay Him in a manger?

 

Imagine, right after giving birth, having a bunch of strangers burst into your room. and then suddenly, they gave her the sign, the answer to her question. “Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 ”Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

They worshipped the Messiah, a little baby laying there, probably with a dirty diaper, or crying or eating from his mother…

 

Imagine 3 great men, dressed in their wealth, bringing your infant son gold, frankincense and myrrh.

 

When I think of what Mary must have felt then, it is overwhelming. Yet, she knew that this was no ordinary child, no ordinary birth, from no ordinary baby-making activity. I am sure she remembered the angel coming to her as clearly every day as it was on that day.

 

I look back to my first months with Aubrey, being in awe of her, falling in love with her and getting used to being a mother. I wanted to protect her from everything bad, I wailed right there along with her when she got her shots, I did everything I could to make her happy. I am sure Mary did the same thing for baby Jesus.

 

Imagine, though, her confusion when her husband wakes her up in the middle of the night and says, we have to go. NOW. Fleeing to a foreign land, and finding out later that every other mother like herself was not spared the evil and the horror of having their sons ripped from their arms and murdered. If I was in Mary’s place, I would have felt such guilt and responsibility. I would have been haunted by it. But I am sure she knew… her day of suffering would come.

 

I think what it must be like to see your child grow up, knowing they are destined to save the world. I probably would have tried to keep Him a child as long as I could… to teach and love Him, to hold Him and kiss Him, to always be his mother. I would have been proud as He grew into a great carpenter like His dad, I would have been proud as He learned and studied and taught others. I wonder how she handled the questions that He must have had when He started to figure out who He truly was.

 

Jesus in His adult life became quite the phenomenon. As his mother, I would have been amazed at His popularity, His miracles, His teachings. I would have always been His mother. I probably would have worried about where He would sleep and what He would eat when he was on the road. She must have known He was holy, but she had to have also seen him as a man. A human. She must have known that He would save us all, but that it would come at a price. What an difficult thing to wrap my mind around!

 

And what must it have been like for Mary… to see her only, holy, beloved son begin the path to his death. To be helpless, to know that it must happen. He can’t escape the wrath of someone who fears him twice.

 

These are the stations of the cross from Mary, mother of Jesus’ view:

1. Jesus is condemned to death. Mary His mother sees the frenzied crowd, the anger, the desire for blood. Her son’s blood.
2. Jesus carries his cross. Mary His mother knows He is strong from His work and travels, but after lashes with a whip and hunger and thirst… how will my son be able to carry His own tool of execution?
3. Jesus falls the First time. Mary his mother gasps as she sees Him fall to the ground. She fights every motherly instinct in her to go to Him, pick Him up, kiss His face and make it right. This is what must be.
4. Jesus meets His Mother. Mary His mother looks into His face. She cries and says “I love you” and prays for His suffering to be over. He keeps going, thought I am sure he wanted to do what He could to stop her crying.
5. Simon the Cyrenian Helps Jesus carry His Cross. Mary His mother is grateful for some relief for Her boy… but the journey to the hill still continues.
6. Veronica wipes the face of Jesus. Mary His mother is again grateful for someone who can reach Him to comfort Him in any small way.
7. Jesus falls the second time. Mary His mother knows His strength is weakening and wishes for it all to be over.
8. Jesus speaks to the women. Mary His mother is amazed that even in this time of His great pain, He thinks of them instead of accepting their grief for Himself.
9. Jesus Falls the third time. Mary His mother wonders how much more her son can take… my son, please… get up! I want to make it better…
10. Jesus is stripped of His Garments. Mary His mother feels His shame and realizes that He is the sacrificial lamb… stripped of any impurity and sin.
11. Jesus is Nailed to the Cross. Mary His mother cries, can barely look at her baby boy, for Her will always be that to her, up on a cross like a criminal. Even in this time she hears Him forgiving and loving others.
12. Jesus dies on the cross. What else can Mary His mother do but wail and faint with grief? Her Son is dead.
13. Jesus is taken down from the Cross. Mary His mother feels some relief in being able to hold Him, dress Him, and bury Him.
14. Jesus is laid in the Tomb. Mary His mother prays for rest for Her son, and awaits what she must surely know is coming… the end of the story. Because her putting her Son in that tomb was NOT THE END!